


i know they said the end is near

by airplanewishes



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Family, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Leaving Home, M/M, Minor Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Booker | Sebastien le Livre, Platonic Relationships, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Separations, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25504585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airplanewishes/pseuds/airplanewishes
Summary: They will always find their way back to each other.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 18
Kudos: 239





	i know they said the end is near

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help myself. I love this movie, the comics, the characters, and the actors so much. I haven't written in a while, but I knew I just had to write something for this. I hope you enjoy reading it as much I as enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Title is from Taylor Swift's Mirrorball.

Joe is tired. He leans his head back, hands tightening on the steering wheel, as he waits for the stoplight to turn green. It’s been a long day and he wants nothing more than to take a warm bath and sink his face into a pillow.

Being a consulting graphic designer isn’t really something he thought he’d be doing centuries into his life, or lives, if he’s being specific. But doing nothing has always exhausted him and so he very careful requested a semi-permanent job and situation from James Copley, the team’s handler, with permission from Andy, who is the team’s official unofficial leader.

The light turns green and Joe takes a deep breath as he tries not to speed too much time thinking on his way home. _Home._ Shaking his head, he straightens a little as he signals to turn right. He can still remember the look that Andy gave him when he told her what he wanted to do. It wasn’t pity, but a deep-seated sadness, exhaustion, and longing. And if there’s anyone who understands those three things the most, it’s Andy. Joe knows that she’s sad because he has _it_ , or he had—he’s not entirely sure these days—and it was the least she could do for him, to let him go into the world and find any semblance of home after the fiasco in London.

Right now, home is Canada, in Edmonton, a big city that feels like a small town. It’s just exactly what Joe needs. Everything is within his reach, but also people are kind and generous enough to leave him alone. It's busy, but not crowded for him to feel claustrophobic or paranoid about people noticing him. There's a lot of land space to walk on; he can take walks or bike along trails with very few or rarely anyone on them. It's kind of like having a country life but in the city. He loves it and he know that--Joe cuts his thoughts off right there, clearing his throat. He doesn't allow himself to go there anymore, not for a while now; he's been trying really hard for the past year.

Joe turns the engine off and gets out of the car, grabbing his bag and locking the door. He wonders if he has mail. He loves it when he receives letters and believes that it's a lost art. He grins when he sees that he has three postcards, one from Copenhagen and two from Paris, much to his surprise. The last time they communicated, Nile had tagged along with Andy to Italy. He supposes that Nile wanted to actually _see_ to France this time and be toured by someone who's been there several times, which he confirms from her letter. Joe hopes that this time with Nile is helping Andy with her new loss and grief. Booker, meanwhile, is in Copenhagen and says that he'll move along to Utrecht in a day or two. He's not entirely sure how he feels about Booker at this point, but he appreciates knowing where he is in the world. By habit, Joe checks the mailbox to make sure there's nothing else. He nods, smiling a little, pretending that he doesn't feel disappointed.

As soon as Joe enters his apartment, the phone rings, startling him. He stands in the middle the foyer of his apartment, trying to calm himself down. Technology is still something he's not used to, despite having lived with it for several years now. He supposes it's convenient, but he's not sure he'll ever be comfortable with the idea of being "found" at every turn. Taking his jacket off, he hangs it on the hall closet, putting his bag down beside it, and makes his way down the hall to the living area.

The apartment is too big for one person, especially one in some kind of mourning. But Copley had helped him scout the area and this two bed, one bath seemed perfect, with its spacious living area and dining room, and a lovely kitchen. Joe loves how neat and airy it feels. It helps him feel less suffocated.

"Hello," Joe picks up the cordless phone and answers the call with a flourish.

"You really should get a mobile phone."

"But then we wouldn't have this weird aptly-timed calls whenever I get home," Joe responds with a chuckle. He then frowns at the timing of the call. "Don't think I don't know that this isn't a coincidence, Copley," he calls him out. "I sweep the apartment every two weeks."

"I'd think you were losing your touch if you didn't do so," Copley returns, sounding jovial and teasing.

Joe rolls his eyes and sits down on the couch. He leans his head back and closes his eyes. "So to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Just checking in," Copley answers. "Everything okay? Everything normal?"

"All is well," Joe assures him. "No suspicious characters." He hasn't really been hanging out much with anyone so no one really knows much about him.

"Booker should probably be in Utrecht by now. Nile and Andy are in Brussels and I think they might meeting up with Booker in Amsterdam in about a month," Copley relays.

"What about the rest of the 97 years?" Joe questions, more jokingly than anything.

"Well, I think Nile might be chipping away at Andy's toughness," Copley shares. "At least when it comes to you guys. Her patience is astounding."

"It's a challenge to learn, even after all these years," Joe agrees with a laugh.

"So yeah," Copley continues. "If you're up for Amsterdam in a few weeks, they'll be there."

"Really?" Joe can't help but ask. He hates how eager he sounds. But he can't help it. Despite everything, despite these three years, he still hopes.

"Sorry, Joe," Copley tells him after a beat.

Joe lets out the breath he's been holding. "Yeah, not your fault. You'll find him when he wants to be found," he croaks when Copley doesn't say anything more. "Thanks for the update." He squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn't even know why he waits for anything else. Copley never slips up when it comes to the team, not anymore, not since London. He's really held up his end of the bargain and all they can do for him in return is try not to get fight and get killed when there's no fighting to be done. All Copley really asks, to be honest, is for them to lay low. "Maybe I should fly out then and surprise them. Is there anything else?"

Copley pauses and then asks, "How are you doing, Joe? How's work?"

Joe sits up and smiles, despite his heavy heart. "It's great," he responds with a flourish. "I've just finalized some advertisements for another museum exhibition." His work is something he enjoys. It also gives him an excuse to draw something other than what he's been drawing for all of his immortal life. "You should come visit some time. I've asked the others and they're mulling it over. I don't think they miss me enough yet to actually come see me, though." He chuckles. London was only three years ago after all.

"I don't have to be there physically to see you and what you've been working on, you know," Copley tells him.

"Not creepy at all," Joe says, making a face.

Copley laughs. "Alright, alright," he says. "Just wanted to touch base. I'll talk to you in a few days."

"Looking forward to it already," Joe teases.

He puts the phone back on its cradle. He stares at it for a few seconds before picking it up again and pressing a few buttons to call a number that he knows Copley has input into his phone's system. It rings for about five times before it's picked up.

"Joe," Andy answers, tone clipped in a way that lets him know she's surprised by the call, and not in a good way. "Everything okay?"

"Yes," Joe is quick to assure her. "Things are fine. Everything's great." He moves to the kitchen and checks for food in the fridge. He makes a face when he realizes that he's going to have to cook. Looking out of the window, he ponders going out to buy some food.

"Okay, good," Andy replies. Joe can almost see the sigh of relief that she lets out. "You know it's almost two in the morning here, right?"

"And it's almost six p.m. here," Joe returns cheerfully. "Copley just called."

"I know," Andy says. "He sent me a text."

"You got a phone?" Joe asks in surprise.

"Where do you think I'm talking to you from?" Andy replies.

He pouts a little. "I thought we were getting one together."

"Well, seeing as you're on the other side of the world," Andy retorts playfully.

"Hey, I'm not the one who--" Joe starts and stops. Andy doesn’t say anything. “Fine, I'll get a phone and I'm going to send you so many pictures, you'll be even more sick of me than when we were actually together."

"I miss you, Joe," Andy tells him in one of her rare affectionate moments. "So go get a phone and send me lots of pictures. The phone I got has a lot of memory."

Joe swallows. “Has—“ He clears his throat, pauses, wonders if he really wants to know. He doesn't. He shouldn't. “Never mind. I’ll let you go sleep or do whatever. I’ll contact you when I get my phone.”

“Joe."

He can hear it in her voice, the apology, for what he's not sure, the encouragement, the care, the concern, the love. Joe is grateful. He loves Andy. She's shaped a big part of who he is. But it doesn't make up for the hole in his life right now.

“I know,” Joe replies, leaning his forehead against the fridge. “I know. You too. Bye.” He ends the call before Andy can say anything else. 

He knows that it's also hard for the others, especially Andy, because Nicky decided to just up and leave. Joe knows that he's not the only one Nicky left. It feels like that, though. He's had Nicky by his side right from the beginning, when he supposedly died. This is the first time that he doesn't know where Nicky is, the first time that when Joe turns his head, he's not there. And no matter what anyone says, no matter how positive or encouraging Nile is that Nicky is going to come back to him, Nicky not speaking to him, Joe not knowing what's been going on with him for three years sends a different message. It tells Joe that Nicky might gone for good. It tells Joe that Nicky might done with him for good.

The team had regrouped at a safe house just outside of London after dealing with Steven Merrick, who _was_ the youngest pharmaceuticals company CEO. Joe remembers getting out of the car in a daze, barely helping the rest sweep the place. And then he sees Nicky in the middle of the living area, fists clenched. He was glaring at Booker like he wanted to kill him, which was a surprise. He was the one who was telling Joe to calm down, to understand. Booker stood a feet away from him, staring back warily. Joe had taken one step forward, to maybe pacify Nicky, which, now that he thinks about it, he's not sure why he wanted to stop Nicky from beating the hell out of Booker. He'd done the unforgivable. Booker sold them out despite his good intentions. He betrayed them. After over 200 years of sharing a life together, now they don't know if they could trust him again.

But also, what Booker said kept coming back to Joe. ' _What would you know of the weight of all these years alone?'_

Joe knows nothing of being alone. Not in the way that Booker meant. An infinity of lifetimes, starting over again and again, being unable to love for the simple reason that you can't sustain that love, he didn't go through that. He didn't have to because he was lucky enough to have Nicky by his side. They were both lucky. Joe knows that. But being put in a lab, in a cage, where they weren't certain of ever leaving again, uncertain of being unable to live a life again no matter how endless, Joe thinks that really rattled Nicky. That was probably why, after punching Booker, he walked out of the door.

They all thought Nicky was just taking a walk to cool off. They've all done that at some point. Andy had her year off prior to meeting Copley, South Sudan, Nile and London. Joe had gone back and stayed in Maghreb by himself for a while, shortly after they'd lost Quynh. Booker had done his fair share of walking out in the few decades they've had with him. So it was Nicky's turn. Joe thought that short, but terrible, week granted a walking out from at least one of them. But not like this.

Afternoon had turned to nighttime, nighttime turned to dawn and then to morning and Nicky hadn't returned. Joe remembers standing at the doorway, looking out for him, and waiting. He remembers Andy coming to stand beside him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "He won't do this," Joe remembers telling her. "He won't just leave. He won't just walk away. Not from us." The unspoken ' _not from me'_ hung between them.

A day became two days, and then five days, seven weeks, 10 months, three years. Joe's never seen or heard from Nicky since.

_'So this is what it's like,'_ he can't help but think.

He picks up his phone, presses one of his speed dials, and calls. It rings once before it's answered.

"Hey," Booker greets after a pause.

Joe doesn't know why he called. His feelings for Booker are still up in the air. He doesn't think three years is enough for him to even just process what feels like 200 years of betrayal squeezed into a week, and that's what it feels like Booker did. It may be dramatic. But he's not sure if Booker ever really trusted or cared about them enough to throw away their life just like that. And for what? Death? Death to them is precisely what Steven Merrick had handed on a platter. Their death is to be locked up forever. But Joe also understands that there are many ways to die. And for them, the opportunities for such are endless. They are also more painful that actual death itself.

"I think I know what you mean," Joe quietly returns.

"About what?" Booker asks.

"The weight," Joe elaborates. "The grief. I think I kind of get it now." He sighs, hanging his head, burying his face in his hand.

Booker sighs. "This isn't what I wanted. I didn't mean to do this. I didn't--I'm sorry." He pauses, swallowing. "Joseph, I'm so sorry. I wanted you to understand, but not like this."

_Joseph_. It's been a while since anyone's called him that. Nicky used to, once in a while. But other than him, no one's called him by any of his older names for a long time. "You didn't make him leave," he finally says. "Nicky's been... he's a good person and he wants to help and he believes in what we do. But also, he's tired. He may be immortal and he may have accepted this fate. But that doesn't mean that he isn't exhausted, of having to be that person for someone or for a whole people." Joe knew it. He sensed it, even though they never talked about it. They should have allowed Andy to be away longer because that would have meant that Nicky would've been able to recharged longer, too. "So, no, it's not your fault. Not entirely," he clarifies.

"You're not... I don't understand," Booker states.

"I'm upset, at you, at him, at myself for seeing this coming but not believing it, for being upset at him when it's not his fault," Joe tells him. "But I also want him back, Book. I really, really want him back. I'm still hoping he will and I can't spend my time waiting for him by being mad at him because I don't want to hate him. I don't want to wake up one day and realize I've fallen out of love for him. Because that's all I have. For nine hundred years, that's all I've held on to." He lifts his head up and leans back on his seat, staring at the uneaten food on his dining table. "He will be back," he finishes.

"He will be," Booker says.

Joe takes a deep breath. "What time is it over there?"

"I can be out of here by noon," Booker informs him.

"Don't be ridiculous. That's not what I meant," Joe interjects, even though that's really kind of what he meant. "You are in exile and I'm still mad at you."

"Right," Booker replies. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Joe rolls his eyes and ends the call.

Joe wakes in the middle of the night to his bedroom door opening. He grabs his gun from under his pillow, sits up, and points it at the door. Booker is standing there with his hands up. Joe breathes a sigh of relief and returns his gun under his pillow.

"I'm going to kill you," Joe mutters, lying back down and closing his eyes. He hears the rustle of Booker taking his jacket off.

"You're welcome to," Booker responds, as he sits on the edge of the bed.

Joe huffs out a laugh and opens his eyes just as Booker reaches out to flick away a curly strand of hair that’s almost to his eyes.

“Been growing it out,” Joe shares.

“I can see that,” Booker comments. He lies on his back and shifts. "This is a big bed."

"I know," Joe whispers. He had unthinkingly decided on a king-sized bed. Later on, he would stand at the foot of it and wonder how he thought he could sleep alone on such a huge space without feeling emptier than he already did. He slept on the couch for weeks.

Booker turns on his side and opens his arms. "Come here."

Joe moves towards him and buries his face in Booker's neck without hesitation. He sobs at the contact, at the warm body, at the arms holding him close. It's not the same and it's not fair to even be thinking that way, but Booker is solid, and he's _here._ Booker cups the back of Joe's head, fingers lightly scratching at the hair on his nape. Joe squeezes his eyes shut as he tries to even his breathing, to calm his heart down, to stamp the hurt away. Booker, hardened by years of loneliness and grief, rarely hands out affection. But they know he cares in his own way. He dispenses them underhandedly, through teasing, jokes, comebacks. So when Booker starts humming an ancient Italian folk song, one that Nicky had taught him back when Booker was still grappling with the language, it surprises him. It's so openly caring and sweet.

"How long will it take?" Joe whispers.

"A while," is Booker's simple but vague answer.

"How long?" Joe insists.

"I'm not going to answer that," Booker tells him, hugging him even tighter. "Nicky will be back and you won't need to know."

They spend time together and Booker shares what he's been doing and where he's been for the past three years. He tells Joe about wanting to originally go back to France then deciding against it at the last minute and going to Denmark instead. He shares his feelings about still trying really hard to be over the death of his family and his non-death over the first few years of his life before and after they found him. They share a laugh about Booker not wanting to have anything to do with them those first 50 years of being immortal. Joe tells him how he, Andy and Nicky talked about how they understood how he felt and how they knew that feeling of hating everything in the world that reared them to being. They exchange stories about the early years of the four of them being together, all the battles they fought, all the people they fought for and the good they tried to do.

Joe smiles as he watches Booker move around his kitchen. Booker had suddenly announced he'd wanted to make something for Joe four weeks into his stay. They'd gone grocery shopping, Booker taking the lead in everything and Joe just following along. It was nice having someone around to grocery shop and to cook for him. It's not that he was inadequate in both those areas; between him and Nicky, he cooked more. But he knows what Booker is doing, taking care of him and keeping him distracted. It's nice and sweet of him to do so.

"You're not going to burn the kitchen down, are you?" Joe teases, leaning against the counter, while watching Booker drop the bag of pasta.

"I know what I'm doing," Booker insists, distracted. "I made this for myself while I was traveling."

"Oh, am I going to be the first one to actually know if it tastes good or bad?" Joe asks. He grins when Booker shoots him a look. "I'm kidding." He then frowns as he watches him unpack all the groceries. "Why did you buy so much? Are you cooking for the rest of the week, too?"

The door buzzes just before Booker gets to answer. Joe goes to the intercom and presses the button to open the building door without really thinking about it.

"You just let anyone in?" Booker raises his eyebrows.

Joe shrugs. "It happens. People get locked out," he says. "It also saves me the time from talking to anyone." The last time he tried being friends with anyone that wasn't them, it only ended in heartbreak.

Booker shakes his head. "So much for trying to be safe."

"Hey," Joe retorts with an eye roll. "You know very well that if they try anything with me, I can--"

The knock on the door cuts him off. They both stare at the hallway.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Booker asks as he starts chopping the garlic.

Joe presses his lips together, walking to the door. No one's ever knocked on his door before, not even the landlord, who prefers all communication to go through online. He doesn't know any of his neighbors because meeting people and the danger of getting attached is a very real thing for him. So this is really suspicious. He grabs his stashed gun from the coat closet, grip tense as he moves to the door.

"Booker," Joe hisses.

"I'm right here," Booker says right behind him. Though Joe doesn't see a weapon, he knows he's armed.

Joe peeks through the door peephole and furrows his brows when he doesn't see anyone down the hall. He glances at Booker. "I don't really want to leave this building or this country right now," he comments with a sigh. "Who in the hell would--"

"You better not shoot."

Joe and Booker exchange a look and then Joe's opening the door with a grin on his face. Nile, her natural hair loose and beautiful, smiles from where she's standing in front of them door and Andy, hair a bit longer, off to the side, smiling as well. Joe wraps both arms around them, knocking their heads together, feeling a certain peace come over him. It's only been three years but he's really missed them.

"Okay that's enough," Andy demands, tapping Joe's arm, though she doesn't let go until she's given him a kiss on the temple. "Alright. Guns away? Good. I'm starving."

"Food's not ready yet," Booker announces when they're all inside.

Nile's smile freezes on her face as she watches Andy still at the sound of Booker's voice. Joe's not sure where she stands on the whole 100 years exile thing, which was his idea, he knows, but the past few weeks has thawed his heart. He'd rather have Booker here than far away right now. He really hopes Andy feels even just a little bit of that too.

"Well, you better get right to it then," is all Andy says before she's walking into the apartment like she owns it.

They troop towards the main room. Nile follows Booker to the kitchen and starts helping him prepare the ingredients for his Beef Bourguignon. Joe follows Andy, who's watching both of them with an intent gaze, to the balcony.

"How have you been?" Andy asks.

"Okay," Joe responds with a shrug. He glances at Joe and Nile expertly moving around each other, like they've been cooking in that kitchen for a long time. "Having Booker here has helped."

Andy looks at Joe. "Has it?"

Smiling at the way Booker is cooking so intently, he turns to Andy. "He's different."

"Three years as opposed to the past two hundred?" Andy challenges, an eyebrow raised.

"He's not perfect," Joe acquiesces. "But he's not the same. I mean, why would he bother coming here if--" He glances at the kitchen and then looks back at Andy. "It was you. That's why he's here," he realizes with a furrowed brow. He shakes his head in disbelief.

"It was his idea, not mine," Andy clarifies. "I was for the idea of giving you another year for yourself. Nile wanted to jump on your back and come here with you."

Joe chuckles. He then puts an arm around Andy and leans his forehead on the side of hers. "Thank you for coming," he whispers. He knows he doesn't have to say it, but he wanted to be sure that they know, that Andy knows, that he missed them and appreciates their presence in his life. Having lived for an incredibly long time, especially for them who kill as part of their living, it's easy to lose sight of what and who are important.

Andy turns her head and presses a kiss to his forehead. She wraps an arm around him, hand gentle on his neck. "Sorry for not coming sooner," she tells him. "I thought..." She shakes her head. "I shouldn't have assumed that you'd react the same way as I did with Quynh. Although it's really not the same thing. I lost her."

"It doesn't matter who loses who," Joe says. "It's all the same in the end."

There's a knock on the sliding door. Nile looks carefully between them. "Food's ready," she announces.

Joe smiles and pushes himself off the balcony. "Let's see just how good Booker's cooking has become," he says, putting an arm around Nile.

They sit around the table and help themselves to Booker's and Nile's cooking. Joe laughs after the first bite because the food is really good. The Beef Bourguignon is a success. Even Andy agrees, which cheers Booker up much more than Joe's high praise did.

"So what have you guys been up to?" Joe asks, helping himself to a third serving. "How has the break been for you, Nile?"

"Oh it was great!" Nile gushes. "France is beautiful. I finally got to see Paris." She makes a face at Andy, who rolls her eyes. "I think we've toured a lot, if not most, of Europe now," she continues thoughtfully, glancing at Andy for confirmation.

"There's a lot she wanted to see," Andy agrees.

"Ooh we went to a lot of beaches," Nile goes on, excited. "We took a lot of boat rides and searched for Qu--" Her eyes widen, immediately looking at Andy in apology.

Joe and Booker exchange a look before looking at Andy, who just sighs. Finding Quynh would be the best news that they've gotten in a very long time, aside from having Nile with them. Quynh is probably Andy's greatest friend. She was the one Andy had been with for a very long time, before any of them came into her life. If she's finally been found...

"And...?" Joe presses. He sees Nile catching Andy's gaze and he just knew. Gasping, he covers his mouth with his hands.

"She's taking time away," Andy explains.

"She needs a lot of time to cool off," Nile adds. Andy kicks her under the table. "Ow," she hisses, bending down to rub at her shin. "Are we just going to forget the fact that she attacked us and even killed me?"

"Andy." Joe gets up from his seat and wraps her in a hug. He lifts her from her seat and twirls her around, making her laugh, which is always music to his ears. "Andromache." After all these years, after decades and decades of searching, Quynh is finally out of that iron cage, finally back to life.

Joe cups the back of her head and kisses her cheek. Andy tightens her hold on him, buries her face in his neck, and starts crying. He can't imagine what it must feel like, being unable to find and be with the one you love for centuries. Joe's overjoyed and yet his heart also aches. No one should ever feel like this. He doesn't want it to happen to him.

They stay like that for a while, standing in the middle of the room, Andy clutching onto Joe. Nile stays seated, eyes wet. Meanwhile, Booker is standing and leaning against the kitchen counter, crying into his hand. Joe catches Nile's gaze and tilts his head towards Andy, meaning for her to take over. She stands and replaces Joe in Andy's arms.

Joe has rarely seen Booker cry. It's usually due to his family, and, he supposes, this is no exception. Joe approaches him slowly, not wanting to overstep or embarrass him. He places his hands on his arms, light, gentle, to let him know he's there. Booker lifts his head and lets Joe cups his face and wipe his tears with his thumbs. Booker chuckles, probably feeling ridiculous for crying, and Joe smiles at him and kisses his forehead.

"Book," Andy calls, which is all it takes for Booker to hurry towards her and wrap her in his arms.

Joe smiles because he's happy. He is. But some happiness bring a certain amount of grief and this is one of those times for him. Smiling, he excuses himself, saying that he's just grabbing something from the store, and leaves the apartment.

It still amazes Joe sometimes how late the sun sets in certain places. Now that it's summertime, the sun sets just before 11 o'clock at night and makes 9 o'clock in the evening seem like it's merely late in the afternoon. He thinks he would have preferred having an emotional breakdown in the darkness, but that can't be helped. He walks the length of his street then goes down the next week, just so he can clear his thoughts and figure out why his heart hurts.

It's really amazing that Quynh has finally been found. It was almost a hopeless situation because the seas are vast and endless. The amount of time they've dedicated to looking for her was a lot and was a testament to how badly Andy wanted to get her back. There were a lot of sleepless nights, where they would just hear Andy sobbing into her pillow. There were also the kind of nights where Andy would disappear to somewhere or with someone and just try to stop being so desperate and angry. No one could give them any information pertaining to where she was thrown into the waters and those people all suffered for it. Once Andy was done searching, because they're tired and there are other things that they'd had to do, Andy visited every single one of those people responsible for what happened and killed them. Joe and Nicky stood by for it, not interfering, merely just being there to protect her and just watching as Andy's pain ebbed and flowed but never went away.

Joe doesn't want to feel that way. But he's scared because he already is starting to feel that way. The sadness can't be explained and no matter what Joe tries to do or how he encourages himself to think positive, it doesn't help. And what's worse is that this isn't like what happened to Quynh. Quynh didn't want to go. It wasn't her decision to be locked away in that box and be thrown out. She wouldn't be there if she could've helped it. But Nicky... he left. Sometime in Steven Merrick's lab and getting out, Nicky had decided he didn't want the life he had with them, with him, and got out of it with his own two feet. He didn't even care to tell them. Joe doesn't think it doesn't get any clearer than that.

It's been a very long time since he last thought his immortality as a curse. But after waiting and waiting and waiting for Nicky to come back, he's starting to believe that again. And he hates it. Because Nicky isn't really the only thing that he's been living for. There's Andy, Quynh, Booker, and now, Nile. There are also the people that need them, people that require their services in some way to ease the burdens of the world.

Nicky is special, though. Nicky is Joe's special person. He's the one who's really made his immortal life more than bearable. Nicky made him feel excited and happy and alive every moment of the 900 years that he's lived, which he really didn't think was possible. Whomever wished for immortality really doesn't know the kind of strength that it takes to live different lifetimes. Nicky had given him that. Without Nicky, Joe doesn't think he would've been able to do it so happily and with so full of love. Nicky was his blessing. They were each other's. Or so Joe thought. He's always thought that they were on equal footing regarding their feelings for each other and where they stood in their relationship. But now Joe is not so sure. Because he wouldn't have left Nicky like this, he wouldn't have left him without a word. Nicky didn't even give him a chance to say ' _i love you'_ before he left.

Joe understands that three years is nothing if compared to the 200 years that Booker's been grieving for his family or Andy and Quynh being separated for over 500 years. Still. Three years is one too many to be without Nicky.

He stays out until the sun sets. He doesn't want them to see him like this, or at the very least, Andy and Nile.

Eventually, he finds his way back to where his apartment is located. Joe hangs around at the parking lot, hoisting himself up on the railing. He looks up at the building, at the floor that houses his friends--his family--in his apartment and wonders what they've been up to in the time that he's been gone.

He's a bit surprised that there haven't been any assignments from Copley, that he'd let them all have their time off, longer than Andy would have done, probably if it weren't for Nicky. Joe would've usually felt restless by now. By this time, he would've been looking for something to do, for some people that need their help. But not this time, not yet. How can he go out there and help people when he's not sure he believes in this life, this gift anymore? He thinks about Booker and how he has been trying to manage all these decades. Joe wonders if he can do it half as well as Booker's been trying.

Joe's thoughts stray to Malta. Since he still seems to have more time for himself than he thought he would be granted, may he should go there, reflect, and then he'll decide what he wants to do. Because that's exactly what he doesn't know anymore... what to do with his life. Joe doesn't know whether this is still something that he still wants or if he should just waste away for a few centuries for a bit.

"Joe."

He looks up from fiddling with his fingers and, eyes widening, loses balance on the railing and falls backwards. His breath whooshes out of him as his back and head hits the pavement. Joe stays on the ground, groaning at the pain. It's easy to forget pain when he hasn't had any deaths or painful encounters in a while.

"Joe, are you okay?"

Joe opens his eyes and squints. He must've hit his head really hard because it's almost like... He closes his eyes again and shakes his head. It can't be. He's familiar with this feeling, the feeling of seeing Nicky everywhere when he's really nowhere.

"Joseph."

The touch on his cheek has him opening his eyes once more. Nicky's there, longer hair tucked behind his ears. He's crouching down beside him, looking at him with concern on his blue grey eyes. Joe tries to even his breath, but all that comes out is a sob.

"Yusuf," Nicky calls, his hand cupping his cheek.

Joe sits up and reaches out to him, for his arms, his chest, his neck, his hair, his face. It's Nicky. "Nicolo," he whispers, voice cracking. He looks the same. He feels the same. "You're here."

"I'm here," Nicky confirms, taking Joe's hands from his face and kisses each of his palms. The gentleness of the touch has Joe squeezing his eyes shut in an effort not to burst into tears. "I'm here."

There are so many things Joe wants to ask, but he's afraid of the answers and he's afraid that they'll just confirm everything that's been on the back of his mind. "They'll be happy you're back," he says instead, as he stands.

"And you?" Nicky asks, standing as well. His eyes follow every movement Joe does. Joe looks at him in question. "Are you happy I'm back?"

The look makes something in Joe's chest ache with hope. Maybe... maybe Nicky still wants him. But he can't be too sure so he winks. "You know me," Joe teases and leads the way into the apartment building.

"Hey you." Nile gives Joe a gentle nudge, enough to pull him out of his thoughts.

"Hi," Joe returns, shifting a little from where he's leaning against his balcony's railing. "What's up?"

"I should be asking you that," Nile counters. She stands beside him, her back against the railing. Andy, Nicky and Booker are in the dining area, discussing where to eat. "You've been really quiet," she continues, hesitating when Nicky glances up at them. "I don't mean to intrude, but I thought... I mean with Nicky back..." She shrugs, looking uncomfortable and unsure. "It's been a day and you guys are being weird."

Joe turns a little and follows her line of sight. Nicky looks really good, slightly more tanned than he usually is, hair longer. His shirt is snug on his arms, looking like he'd gone hiking or underwent some form of exercise when he was away. He wonders what he did for these three years.

"I'm relieved he's back and safe," Joe assures her.

"How convincing," Nile responds, an eyebrow raised.

Joe sighs, turning back to the view. "It's hard to explain," he tells her. And it is. Even he can't really understand it. There seems to be something that shifted between them because of the distance. Joe is happy that Nicky is back. He's relieved that he's safe and alive. But also, the way Nicky came back, it was as if this was just how things are, like there should be no questions asked. It's almost as if they should've just expected him back, like they should already know why he left. Joe isn't sure if he should be upset because Nicky did and is assuming that or if Joe should be mad because ' _he'_ should have known that. Did he lose trust in Nicky while Nicky trusted him to understand all this time?

Nicky starts laughing and Joe turns to look. He seems like he's laughing at something that Andy said, but he stops when Booker laughs as well. Booker, chastised, steps back a little and puts his hands in his pockets. Joe shakes his head and pushes off the railing. Nile touches his arm.

"It's not easy," Nile says. Joe raises his eyebrows at her. "Forgiveness. But, I think, between the five--six--of us, it's necessary because we need each other. We have no one else." She glances at the others. "Maybe this is what Nicky is struggling with with Booker and maybe this is also why you should, you know, with Nicky... I just think that forever is too long to be mad at someone--but I mean, it's not my place to tell you how to feel or what to do."

Joe cups her face and smiles at her. "You are a part of us now, Nile. You are family. And because of that, you are free to tell us how you feel or what you think about anything. We welcome that," he says, looking at her like he probably would if he had a younger sister or a daughter. "So thank you. I promise I will keep that in mind." He presses a long kiss to her forehead.

Nile pushes him away, her cheeks red. "You sap," she grumbles, touching her forehead. "Go away."

"What's going on?" Nicky asks, stepping out into the balcony. Joe hiccups in surprise when Nicky looks at him.

"He was being disgusting," Nile remarks. She pushes Joe to Nicky, who catches him by the waist. Joe wraps his arms around Nicky's shoulder to find balance. "You two deserve each other." She walks towards Andy and Booker, links arms with both of them, and pulls them away and out of the apartment.

"I already know that," Nicky calls after the closed door.

Joe tries to even his breathing as Nicky keeps holding him around the waist. Unsure as to what to do or how to act, he keeps his own arms around Nicky, but avoids meeting his gaze. He can't believe that after almost a thousand years together, his heart can still flutter like this, as if he's newly in the arms of a fresh love. Nicky's hands are warm on his waist and he wants to cry at how much he's missed it. When Nicky tightens his hold on him, pulling him closer until their fronts are touching, Joe gives in and buries his face in Nicky's neck.

"Nicky. Nicolo," Joe whispers, gripping him with all that he has. "My Nicolo."

"Yes, I'm here," Nicky responds, kissing the side of his head. "Your Nicolo. Always your Nicolo."

"Why did you leave?" Joe demands, pulling away just far enough for him to see his face. "And without saying a word, Nicky. You just walked away and we waited for you--I waited for you. We looked for you and couldn't find you anywhere. I didn't know if you'd died or... but we'd probably know if you had so you really just wanted to leave us. You promised that we're in this together. You promised that this is something we'd be facing together for the rest of our lives."

"I did promise, Joe," Nicky confirms. "I did and I do. I'm always going to keep that promise. It's why I came back." Joe pushes him away and walks to the other end of the balcony. "I've always meant to come back," Nicky insists. "I just... I couldn't stay after that, after London, after Merrick and I wanted to--"

"What, you couldn't even tell me that?" Joe snaps, turning to him. He's crying. He knows he is, but he's so overwhelmed with anger and joy and relief that he can't help it. "You couldn't even write a note? You couldn't reach Copley? Or Andy? You couldn't send mail or write on the sky with a plane?" He cover his eyes with his hands as he sobs. He hates that he's crying like this. He hasn't cried this hard since they lost Quynh and a long time has passed since then.

"Joe, I'm sorry," Nicky tells him, almost pleading. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly. I was so engulfed with anger for Copley, for Merrick and Booker that I--I didn't think. I just wanted to get out of there and get some air and... I wasn't planning on being gone this long. But I just..." He pauses, lets out a breath. "I've never been that angry before."

Joe wipes his face and looks at him. Nicky's face is streaked with tears. Nicky very rarely gets angry. Sure he gets angry due to senseless deaths and when children are involved, but Nicky's anger isn't explosive. He tries and tries to understand with infinite patience that Joe sometimes thinks is folly.

"Nicky," Joe whispers. Now that he has a semblance of an explanation, the fog has cleared and he can clearly see how hurt and scared Nicky had been. Taking a deep breath, it amazes him how easy it is for him to understand Nicky, how easy it is for him to give in and give him his love.

"I was mad at everything," Nicky explains. "I couldn't stand what happened. I was angry that I didn't see it coming, Booker betraying us, that we did that job in South Sudan just because we were so eager to get back out there. We got captured and I couldn't even..." He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "I couldn't even protect you and--" He shakes his head, turning away to lean on the railing, hanging his head. "I'm so sorry I left without a word. I'm so sorry for making you worry. I'm sorry for making you think that I didn't care or love you any--"

"Shh," Joe interrupts, moving back into his arms. He wraps Nicky around his and kisses his cheek, regretting his outburst. He hates that they're fighting like this. The words they're exchanging, the anger, this is not them. They haven't been like this since The Crusades, when they first met, where they were scared of each other because they both couldn't die. "None of that. I'm sorry I ever doubted you--"

"I gave you reason to," Nicky interjects. "And you have every right to be mad or want to have nothing to do with me."

"Nicky," Joe says, laughing a little as he cups his face. "Why would I be so upset at you leaving if I didn't want to have anything to do with you anymore?" He presses their foreheads together. "I missed you. I ' _missed'_ you. And if you hadn't comeback or weren't thinking of coming back, yes I would be upset and maybe think that way, but I would never stop loving you." Nicky clutches at him. "You once said that we were meant to find each other, like destiny, and I believe that. I still believe that and I will always believe that." Joe kisses him. "I will always love you no matter how mad I am at you," he repeats. "You are my moon and my warmth and my everything, remember? Beyond measure and reason."

"Beyond measure and reason," Nicky repeats in disbelief. He kisses Joe, deep, like he's been starving for it. "I love you and I'm sorry. I didn't mean--"

"It's okay," Joe says, chuckling a little. "You don't have to apologize anymore. You've already done so, many times. And the thing is, I knew. I knew that something was off after we got back to work, especially after London and Merrick and I just didn't trust my instincts. I didn't trust you and I can't believe that I let my insecurity--"

"My Yusuf, my heart, my destiny," Nicky gently cuts him off. His eyes trace Joe's face with such a loving gaze that it makes Joe blush. "We may be immortal, but we are still human. We'll get mad, feel betrayed, become insecure, have tantrums and walk out on people. We just have a lot longer to work on these things and make them right."

Joe shakes his head. "I just can't bear the thought that I mistrusted you when you thought all along that you could trust me," he confesses. "I don't want you to think that I don't."

"I don't. And even if I did, right now, in this moment, we have the rest of our life to make it up to each other. I love you," Nicky declares. He wraps an arm around Joe's waist, his other hand on the back of his head. "I love you," he repeats, looking into Joe's eyes, hoping to assure him that this doesn't change anything between them. "You 'are' my destiny and no matter what happens, we will always find our way back to each other. I will always find my way back to you."

"And I, you," Joe promises. He closes his eyes when Nicky presses kisses on his forehead, on his cheeks, his nose, his lips. He sighs in contentment. "No more apologies. Not about this."

Nicky kisses him again.

They receive a call from Copley. They put him on speaker for the general updates and then they pass the phone around when Copley insists on speaking to them one by one. Afterwards, they decide to spend the day outside and hang out at a resto bar for late lunch. Nile and Joe wait at the table, while Andy and Booker go to the back and Nicky goes to the washroom. He's looking at the menu when Nile nudges him.

"So..." Nile starts. Joe raises his eyebrows at her. "You and Nicky are good?" Joe beams and Nile can't help but chuckle. "Glad to get confirmation."

"What for?" Joe wonders aloud. He's pretty sure they've been obvious about having patched things up.

Nile shrugs. "I don't know how you guys fighting work," she explains. "Like, is that it? He disappears and comes back and you're all good? I mean, it's a good thing. But you were so upset and sad, even that first night that he had come back."

"I thought the same thing," Joe tells her, thinking about how easy it was for him to forgive Nicky and stop questioning him. "I guess I took your advice to heart. Forgiveness is necessary." He laughs when she makes a face at him. "Besides, it's Nicky. This isn't the first fight we've had. Maybe the first about this, but we've had our differences and have fought about everything so... I don't think this should be a big deal. In the bigger scheme of things, which, you know, is a ' _really' big scheme_ , it doesn't matter so much."

Nile hesitates, biting her lip, before responding. Joe nods at her in encouragement. "Are you sure, though?" she asks. "Just as a third party observer, who's known you for less than five years, it still seems like it is a big deal to you."

"What do you mean?" Joe asks, brows furrowing a little.

"Well, don't take this the wrong way," Nile starts, biting the inside of her mouth. "But you seem... clingier than usual. Like," she pauses and glances around for Nicky, "I'm surprised you're not with him right now."

"He went to the bathroom," he points out.

"You plastered yourself to his back every time he cooked this past week," she reminds him. She raises her hands up to pacify him when he frowns. "It's not necessarily a bad thing. I just noticed is all and I just thought maybe I should tell you. I mean, I know you guys are in love and you guys have been gross about it, believe me. But you guys were kind of... subtle is not really the word. You guys were in love but you weren’t trying to prove something to anyone."

Joe opens his mouth then closes it when Nicky slides onto the seat beside him and Andy and Booker arrive with their drinks. Nile shoots him an apologetic smile and Joe shakes his head at her, an assurance that it's fine and that she didn't overstep. He appreciates the feedback because otherwise he wouldn't have known. He'd always been proud of the way his relationship with Nicky has worked all these years. He was glad that they'd outgrown their fighting years, where they had both been aggressive and bickered about everything. They'd softened for each other over the years, softened because they knew that fighting outside of the actual fighting that they do doesn't help them. He watches Nicky as he talks to Andy and the rest and wonders if there's still that insecurity left.

"You're quiet," Nicky comments when they enter Joe's room and closes the door behind him. “Everything okay?”

"I'm just tired," Joe is quick to assure him with a smile. He makes for the bathroom, puts some toothpaste on his toothbrush, and starts brushing his teeth. He hoped that Nicky would accept his excuse, but he doesn't seem to because Nicky follows him to the bathroom.

"You've been quiet since this afternoon," Nicky presses, standing behind Joe and watching him through the mirror. "Since you and Nile talked."

Joe should've known that he couldn't keep anything from Nicky. Of course he would notice. They've learned to be in tune with each other. It's nice to think that Nicky still knows him well. He scrunches his face at that thought and immediately hates himself for it. He rinses his toothbrush and his mouth and puts his toothbrush in the holder. Breathing deeply, he turns around and faces Nicky, who looks so worried and confused.

"Nothing's wrong," Joe starts. "I mean, it's nothing to be worried about. It's not a big deal."

"Joe, telling me three things that mean the same thing makes me all the more concerned that there is something wrong," Nicky points out. He leans back on the door and crossing his arms across his chest, instead of pulling Joe to him like Joe thought he would. "Just tell me," he then continues. Nicky takes a deep breath and seems to hold it. "Then we can be done with it."

"What are you talking about?" Joe asks, looking at Nicky's eyes in confusion. Nicky is withdrawing from him so fast he can feel it. "Nicky," he says, stepping closer to him and untangling his arms from his chest and holding his hands.

"I know that it's been hard and that it's still hard," Nicky says, looking at Joe, his gaze piercing and earnest. "We've been together for a long time, too long, and that can be a lot for some people." Joe frowns. He can't believe what he's hearing. "I know you like the back of my hand. You know me, too, and I..." He lets out a breath. "You know that I will understand just like you've understood me and what I've done these past few years. I can never get mad at you, Yusuf. I can never stop you from doing what you want to do." He pauses and looks down at their linked hands, his thumbs brushing Joe's knuckles. "It will be hard, but we'll be okay."

Joe gasps and lets Nicky's hands go. “Oh my g— I can’t believe this,” he exclaims. He walks out of the bathroom and looks around the bedroom, for what he’s not sure. He turns around and faces Nicky when he follows after him. “How dare you do this!”

Nicky’s eyes harden. "Me?" he retorts. "You're the one who's been weird. You really can just tell me, you know. I won't hold it against you. I don't know why you had to pretend and why you're still pretending."

"I'm pretending?" Joe points at himself. "What about you?" he returns, gesturing at him. "You're the one who left. You're the one who walked out without a word and you're also the one who came back without any warning. I know you think you could just waltz in and out of my life, but--"

"Waltz in and out?" Nicky interjects. "When have I ever done that? I've left once, Joe. Once, and you're holding it against me like I've done the unforgivable, like I'm Booker--"

"Don't bring Booker into this," Joe cuts him off. "He's been there for me when you weren't." It's unfair of him to say this because Nicky's always been there for him and comparing his relationship with Booker or anyone's to Nicky's is not a good idea. Besides, one month, or even 200 years, compared to a thousand is really no comparison.

"Oh has he now?" Nicky counters. "Good for you and good for him then. He's lucky you forgave him so easily."

"It wasn't easy, Nicky," Joe tells him. "But you left and I was upset and Booker understood what it was like not having the one you love by your side." Nicky opens his mouth and closes it again. Joe runs a hand through his hair. "I can't do this right now," he then says. "I'm going for a walk."

Joe walks out of the room and sees Nile and Andy coming out of the room beside theirs and Booker standing at the end of the hall from the living area. They all look like they've been woken up. He and Nicky must've been fighting louder than he thought.

"What's going on?" Andy demands, eyes alert but wary.

"Sorry for waking you guys," Joe mutters as he grabs a random jacket from the coat closet and putting it on. "I'm going out."

"Joe," Nicky calls after him, walking into the hallway. "Don't walk out on me."

Joe scoffs and faces him. "That's rich, coming from you."

"I don't know why you're so mad," Nicky says. "I'm already telling you that it's okay. You don't have to pretend any longer. Let's make this easy for both of us."

"I don't know why you think I'm the one pretending," Joe insists, glaring at him. "You shouldn't have come back if this is what you wanted anyway. You should've made it easier for the both of us. You didn't have to come here, in my--this--home and do this to me. I was doing okay."

"What are you guys talking about? What's happening?" Nile asks, sounding so worried and confused.

Joe looks at Nile and he feels like crying. She was right. This past week hasn't been truly good. Sure, they seemed happy, but it was obvious that there's something going on between him and Nicky beneath the surface that he must've not realized. He rubs at his chest at the thought. This realization, that something had been lost between them, after being together for so long, really hurts. It hurts so much because he loves Nicky and would always love him.

"He's breaking up with me."

Joe opens his mouth in surprise because Nicky says the same exact thing at the same time he did. Nicky's eyes and stance have softened. He's now looking at Joe with the surprise that he feels. They stare at each other.

Nicky finds his voice first. "I'm not breaking up with you," he declares.

"You're not breaking up with me," Joe repeats under his breath. He frowns in confusion. "Well, I'm not breaking up with you. I wasn't. I thought you were breaking up with me."

"But you were being weird, playing up the sweetness and I thought you were breaking up with me," Nicky trails off, blinking.

"I thought you were breaking up with me because I was being insecure," Joe continues.

Andy curses under her breath. "I got woken up by a high school breakup," she grumbles. "I'd been wondering when you guys were going to have this fight. I didn't expect to witness it at three in the morning, though, and a thousand years in." She goes back inside their room shuts the door behind her.

It sounds so juvenile after Andy's words. Using the words 'break up' for their relationship feels like they're minimizing it. After going through several wars, deaths, fights, after seeing the world fall apart and rebuild itself over and over again together, 'breaking up' just doesn't make sense. Joe supposes that, right now, there's just no word for it. They've never really had this fight before, like what Andy said. It just never occurred to them, or at least to Joe, that it's something he had to be worried about. He just always thought he was going to be with Nicky forever, however long that may be.

Booker slowly backs away from the hallway and goes back to the couch. Nile stays.

"So, are you guys breaking up or not?" Nile clarifies.

Joe looks at Nicky and shakes his head.

"No," they answer at the same time.

Nile sighs, both in relief and exasperation. "Okay, great," she says. "Goodnight." She goes back into their room and leaves the two of them in the hallway.

"Joe," Nicky says, stepping towards him. "I--" He cuts himself off when Joe moves backwards.

"You really weren't breaking up with me?" Joe asks, voice small. "You really weren't leaving me?"

"No." Nicky's answer is straightforward and resolute. "No," he repeats, probably to make sure that Joe understand. "I thought you... you don't want to leave me?"

"No," Joe declares, puffing his chest out. How could Nicky even think that Joe would ever want to leave him? "Of course not." He presses his lips together, watching as Nicky shuffles in his stance, the way he fiddles with the edge of his shirt. "Why would you think that I wanted to?" he asks softly.

"I hurt you, even if it was unintentional," Nicky says. "I still did it. And the past week was weird, for both of us, like we weren't being natural."

"Is it because I was being too clingy?" Joe questions. Nicky frowns at him. "Nile mentioned that I was. I didn't even notice until she mentioned it to me." He sighs. "I guess I was just so happy that you were back and I wanted to make sure that you really were back so I probably got to be a bit much."

They don't say anything for a while. Joe doesn't really know what to say anyway. He feels like a mix of embarrassed, ashamed, hurt, and upset. He's probably more ashamed than anything, though. All these years he's never thought to doubt Nicky, never thought to doubt what they had. How could he have let a measly three years blur the rest of their 900 plus years together?

Nicky stands there as Joe takes his jacket off and returns it to the hall closet. If Joe's guessing, he's thinking the same things as he is. Both of them are just ridiculous. They were being ridiculous and feeding off of each other's anger, hurt and fear. South Sudan and London had more of an impact on their lives than they expected. Along with what Booker did, it really was too much. No wonder Nicky left them. No wonder Joe ran away to Canada.

Joe goes back inside the bedroom. He sits on the edge of his side of the bed and watches as Nicky follows after him, closing the door and locking it. Nicky turns the light off. Joe lies down and Nicky lies down beside him.

It's quiet. They don't say anything. There really isn't anything they can say at this point. It was a stupid fight. For Joe, it doesn't change any of the things he believes about and feels for Nicky. Love seems like such a small and simple word for how he feels for the man beside him, but he supposes it will do. Joe does love him after all. He thinks he's loved him the moment they met, even if they hated each other, even if they didn't know it then.

Joe turns to his side, facing Nicky.

"Let me hold you tonight," Nicky says, turning to him as well.

Joe moves closer to him and fits himself to Nicky, his head under Nicky's chin, his face tucked to Nicky's neck, his arms folded between them, his hands clutching Nicky's shirt. Nicky wraps his arms around him, hugs him, holds him, loves him.

Joe breathes in and out with relief. Nicky loves him.

"So I guess we'll see you soon," Nile tells them, hanging around by the doorway of the apartment.

"One year," Joe confirms.

"You can do more," Andy offers.

Joe looks at Nicky, who shakes his head. "One year," Nicky repeats. "I think that's all we'll need."

Andy nods and then gives them both a kiss on the cheek. "Send pictures," she tells them, waving her touchscreen phone.

"Be careful what you wish for," Joe says mischievously.

Andy rolls her eyes and opens the door to the stairwell. The doors clangs shut behind her, leaving Booker and Nile in the hallway.

Nile takes a deep breath. "Well, bye," she says, hugging them.

"Thank you, Nile," Joe tells her, earnest. If it wasn't for her and their talks, clarity would've been much harder to find.

Nile makes a face, cheeks red, and then follows Andy to the stairs. Joe leans against the doorway and watches Nicky and Booker be awkward around each other. It's amusing. Families can be so silly sometimes.

Finally, Nicky steps forward and wraps Booker in a hug. Booker, stunned, takes a second to hug him back. Joe averts his gaze and stares at the floor once they start whispering things to each other, apologies, assurances.

"See you, guys," Booker says, smiling a little as they pull away from each other. It's nice to see. It's been a while since Joe's seen Booker look this light, like a load's been taken off his shoulders.

"Soon," Joe agrees.

Once Booker has gone, Joe and Nicky go back into the apartment. They look at the place and then at each other.

"What do you want to do?" Joe asks as they move to the living area.

Nicky takes Joe's hand, stopping him and making him face him. "With you?" he responds. "Everything."

Joe's expression softens. The fondness and love that he feels for this man just overflows for him. He thinks it always will. "Are you sure about that?" he wonders, voice soft.

"Forever is only a gift if it's with you," Nicky declares, lifting Joe's hand to his lips and kissing it. "I'm here because of you."

Joe flushes. He wraps his arms around Nicky's neck, hand scratching at the hairs on his nape. "And I, you," he responds with the same fervor.

Nicky kisses him. Joe kisses him back.

The past three years seems so long ago, so far away from where they are now. They needed to have that fight, just like Nicky needed to get away to heal and Joe needed to run away to nurse his pain. Now they're here again and it's another beginning for the rest of their lives. Eventually, they will fight about something again. But Joe is certain that they will always find their back back to each other.


End file.
